unladybird

Not being the 'girly'-est girl has never caused major problems for me (except maybe for that first day of high school when my teacher, having mistaken me for a boy, assigned me to re-arranging the classroom furniture with the rest of the boys). Nor is it anywhere near the top of my list (don't say you haven't got one) of things-I-wish-were-different-about-myself. Still, whenever I contemplate my impending professional life, or all the dress-up fun that N's missing out on by virtue of having an androgynous playmate, 'tis difficult to suppress a small sigh.

Mainly for your viewing pleasure, but also because this is marginally more entertaining than re-drafting a will (which is what I should be doing instead, and FYI for academic rather than personal use), allow me to share a few - less conspicuous - of my unladylike ways.

I take stairs two or more at a time, both up and down. Believe it or not I find this minimises my chances of tripping. Also it makes for an impressive display of my otherwise non-existent physical prowess. A significant reason for my aversion to formal footwear.

Despite my proud heritage, I am clumsy with chopsticks and prefer a spoon and/or (my) fingers. Also, I always finish what's on my plate which, based on observations as well as hearsay, is most unbecoming.

I don't believe in electricity-dependent climate control. Heaters make me thirsty and coolers make me feel segregated from the outside world. Consequently, the coldest nights I go to bed in next day's clothes sans outermost layer, the hottest days I drive with all my windows down and intermittently splash water on myself.

Whilst I've forced myself to be as discreet as possible, I still flinch whenever a guy gives way or holds the door or pulls the chair out for me. It gets worse: my ignorance of queuing etiquette coupled with an in-built awkwardness means that more often than not I let the person next to me go first - and invariably so when that person is female.

I don't recall ever owning more than 4 pairs of shoes at the same time. 1 professional, 1 or 2 casual, 1 exercise. Carrie Bradshaw, you're alien to me.