three's a crowd

Two VIPs (does not stand for Vasoactive Intestinal Peptides) in my life have their birthdays this week. 'Tis appropriate, if not imperative, that I inflict a little of my unabashed affection for them upon the rest of you. Just a little, I promise.

(In order of arrival on this planet - )

Other Mother
[This alias I prefer to 'Adopted Mother' for the latter seems to imply, quite misleadingly, some inadequacy on my birth mother's part.]

People need older people (for guidance, inspiration, and proof that there is life after youth). Unfortunately of these I have few. Fortunately however, this one's as value-packed as they come. Some of the most at-once-traumatic-and-beneficial things ever said to me issued, wittingly or not, from this woman. Like:

• Oh it's too late to save her. [referring to my birth mother]
• Me: Hey, don't feel sorry for me. / OM: Who feels sorry for you?
• Don't sign anything!!!
• If I didn't know better, I'd have thought it a below-the-belt one from a pathological attention seeker. [in response to one of my periodic whiny emails]

Dr Prozac - Being the only person who:

• has seen me throw up / pass out from alcohol over-consumption (well, she and whoever walked past our park bench on Matilda Bay that night);
• has come to my rescue following a motor vehicle collision (unrelated to above);
• knows (nearly) every skeleton in my big dank closet,

she cannot seriously hope to escape my surveillance in this lifetime. There is simply too much incriminating evidence at stake.

Talk about intense intimate sexless relationships. Truly, it is as enormous a wonder as it is a relief that I do not feel romantically afflicted with this woman. If she ever tries to jump the fence I would expect to be left well alone except to get blind-drunk with.

The secret to our success, IMHO, is our common penchant for laughing at ourselves, at other people, and most importantly at each other in that special nurturing way that only we have.