homework

Two emails to write this weekend.

#1 Someone I was once very close to, a long time ago, found out my 'secret' last week from a mutual acquaintance with whom I'd always been on amicable though by no means intimate terms. Yesterday she emailed to apprise me of said discovery, and wondered why I worried about telling her. I did, not for fear of rejection as she speculated, but because I couldn't find time - as pathetic as that sounds. Long and quiet stretches of it, to catch up properly, and paint a balanced picture in which the 'aberration' is but one conspicuous yet peripheral element. She doesn't demand an explanation, I know, but I do of myself - because she matters.

#2 Exhausted and in no condition for obligatory entertainment, I piked on an outing last night. I do this often enough not to have too many qualms about it... until I received the angriest most embittered sms ever from the organiser of said event. I was in the wrong, absolutely, but to be accused of lying and complete disregard for a friendship, and to inspire 'disgust beyond words' - did I deserve that? To boot, by someone I've given a lot of time and patience and thought to, who dare I say hasn't made comparable efforts, and who also happens to routinely bail on me. I shouldn't get worked up by this, maybe I'm in no position to. So I'll only attempt something earnest and unoffensive.