she said it better

A dash of lost-in-translation, in honour of my latest object-of-infatuation.

Self * 陈绮贞 Self * Chen Qizhen

几次 悔过 掩埋狂妄的恶魔 a few times, repented, buried the insolent demons

感觉却好像毁弃善良的自我 yet it felt like abandoning the good me

几次 脆弱 掩饰 不甘的示弱 a few times, weak, would not show vulnerability

这就是我 this is me

再说 我也不特别渴求永久 besides, it's not as if I particularly yearn for forever

其实 我也无法忠于单一感受 to be honest, nor could I stick with feeling any one way

静止了 沉溺了 无声的灭绝 stilled, drowned, silent annihilation

晕眩 giddy

是我拒绝你已清醒的双眼 it was me that rejected your sober eyes

是我召唤你眼底的错觉 it was me that brought on your misconceptions

就让我用力砸碎轻声的诺言 just let me smash to bits the muffled promises

拥抱瞬间 embrace the moment

是我用真实的编造了谎言 it was me that spun lies out of truths

也是我用残破的猜测这世界 it was me that projected brokenness onto the world

就让我回应你已失序的狂野 just let me reciprocate your jumbled temerity

虚伪瞬间 pretend for the moment

是我 it's me

是我用真实的编造了谎言 it was me that spun lies out of truths

就算我用残破的证实这世界 even if I prove the brokenness of this world

再一次让我尝尽犯错的甜美 let me savour once more the sweetness of mistakes

甜美瞬间 sweet moment

是你带我经过纯洁的瞬间 it was you that took me through that pure moment

无悔无邪 no regrets, innocent

days of being wild

... these are not. But it is never a bad time for instant mee goreng and Karen Mok in concert.

Oh Karen, must you have an awesome voice and unbelievable legs. You can give me the voice. I mean, if you're gonna undress down to black bikini, wrap strips of black spandex over strategic parts of yourself, roll around atop a piano, in a bathtub, on the floor, all seductive and wet and dirtylike, you could be howling kindergarten favourites at the same time for all anyone knew or cared. *pant* On second thought: you keep the voice, I'll take the legs instead if you don't mind 'kthx.

Listening to my body clock = sleeping by day + procrastinating by night. Hearing birds awake, sprinklers come on, seeing the sun crawl up over the neighbour's fence - I try not to think about the more eventful existences most of my fellow Earthans are undoubtedly leading at this very moment.

Too much sleep. My body must be greedily catching up on the backlog of sleep that's been accumulating since 2003.

Even with the resultant shorter days, however, there is still more time than I know what to do with - because there is so much to learn that I don't know where to begin (makes sense in my head alright?). Yes learn, as distinguishable from revise.

Pride Month has completely slipped me by. Tried to tap into any repository of regret or guilt that might've been laying dormant within me, to no avail. Haven't turned my back on the Community, I don't think; not running towards it with open arms either. In times of meeting-minimum-requirements-for-graduation, some degree of bleh-ness ought to be forgiveable.