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Monday, November 06, 2006

she said it better

A dash of lost-in-translation, in honour of my latest object-of-infatuation.

Self * 陈绮贞 Self * Chen Qizhen
几次 悔过 掩埋狂妄的恶魔 a few times, repented, buried the insolent demons
感觉却好像毁弃善良的自我 yet it felt like abandoning the good me
几次 脆弱 掩饰 不甘的示弱 a few times, weak, would not show vulnerability
这就是我 this is me
再说 我也不特别渴求永久 besides, it's not as if I particularly yearn for forever
其实 我也无法忠于单一感受 to be honest, nor could I stick with feeling any one way
静止了 沉溺了 无声的灭绝 stilled, drowned, silent annihilation
晕眩 giddy
是我拒绝你已清醒的双眼 it was me that rejected your sober eyes
是我召唤你眼底的错觉 it was me that brought on your misconceptions
就让我用力砸碎轻声的诺言 just let me smash to bits the muffled promises
拥抱瞬间 embrace the moment
是我用真实的编造了谎言 it was me that spun lies out of truths
也是我用残破的猜测这世界 it was me that projected brokenness onto the world
就让我回应你已失序的狂野 just let me reciprocate your jumbled temerity
虚伪瞬间 pretend for the moment
是我 it's me
是我用真实的编造了谎言 it was me that spun lies out of truths
就算我用残破的证实这世界 even if I prove the brokenness of this world
再一次让我尝尽犯错的甜美 let me savour once more the sweetness of mistakes
甜美瞬间 sweet moment
是你带我经过纯洁的瞬间 it was you that took me through that pure moment
无悔无邪 no regrets, innocent

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Saturday, September 02, 2006

soundscape

For a compulsive blog-hopper: 10 songs with stories, in no particular order.

橄榄树 * 齐豫 [olive tree * Chyi Yu]

不要问我从哪里来 我的故乡在远方 ask me not whence I came - my home is afar
为什么流浪 流浪远方 流浪 or wherefore I roam, roam afar, roam -
为了天空飞翔的小鸟 for the birds in the sky
为了山间轻流的小溪 for the brooks in the valleys
为了宽阔的草原 for wide open prairies
流浪远方 流浪 - roam afar, roam
还有 还有 and, and -
为了梦中的橄榄树 橄榄树 for the olive tree in my dreams, olive tree
不要问我从哪里来 我的故乡在远方 ask me not whence I came - my home is afar

Clearly, a crowd-pleaser among migrants, fugitives, hippies, and the like. One of mum's faves too. As I get older I've come to discern a higher significance of this song to the ever-declining number of people who know it: we dream in song what we mostly do not in life, namely, run far far away.

you owe me nothing in return * Alanis Morissette For a long time I took this song literally - to be about unconditional love, the only kind of love that there really is - and was fond. Then I stumbled upon an interpretation (not sure whether Alanis') of it being 'an interesting perspective on obsession', which ruined it for me somewhat. The song continues to encapsulate much of what I (try to) live by, but I can no longer hear it in blissful ignorance of my unhealthy disposition.

let down * Radiohead A track off the CD currently playing on loop in my car. Fascinatingly dichotomous: such upbeat melody, such morose lyrics. let down and hanging around / crushed like a bug in the ground Well, morose only if taken literally. I prefer to think that it's about freeing oneself of expectations, which is the ultimate Catharsis. and one day I am going to grow wings

美错 * 王菲 [beautiful mistake * Faye Wong]

不是来得太快 either it comes too soon
就是来得太迟 or it comes too late
美丽的错误往往最接近真实 often closest to the real thing, is a beautiful mistake

A delicate ballad of a rare un-trashy variety, about being gentle yet daring, generous yet stubborn, when it comes to Love. About loss and bad timing. Features a swimming pool and a meteorite. One of very few Faye songs that I can sing not totally disastrously.

the scientist * Coldplay I call this my 'coming out song'. It was on radio a lot That Year, and got to me bad every single time. I remember pulling over, or stopping whatever else I happened to be doing, so as not to risk a major fuck-up. To this day I can't listen to it with an unclenched heart. What it did was, it helped me to believe not only that I could do This - being honest and bold - but also that I had to. nobody said it was easy

啤酒泡泡 * 小刚 [beer foam * Steve Chow] (Not to be confused with Stephen Chow.) Also during That Year, the smallest/randomest things made me pine for That Girl. This song speaks to just such fixations, and thereby vented a little of my frustration. 思念没有味道 像那啤酒泡泡 longing, bland like beer foam

盛夏的果实 * 莫文蔚 [midsummer fruit * Karen Mok]

也许放弃 才能靠近你 perhaps I must give up, to get closer to you

不再见你 你才会把我记起 must stop seeing you, to be remembered by you

时间累积 这盛夏的果实 time accumulates this midsummer fruit

回忆里寂寞的香气 in our memory the scent of loneliness

我要试着离开你 不要再想你 I must try to leave you, to think of you no more

虽然这并不是我本意 though it isn't my intention

(Karen, can you be any hotter.) A break-up song for the Decidedly Hung-Up, but special to me for an entirely unrelated reason. I used to sing to N lots (until she discovered TV etc). Out of my small repertoire of suitable-for-lullabying material she had her faves, this being one of them. I kid you not at one point, before she spoke phrases let alone sentences, she could sing along word-perfect.

without you * Mariah Carey A must-do at every karaoke session with Bro, despite neither of us being able to hit the high end of the chorus. I don't have anyone in mind as I sing this (gladly more than sadly), but I know he does, and it breaks my heart.

do what you have to do * Sarah McLachlan The trouble with trying to tell someone something using a song, is that thereafter that something, that someone and that song will be forever messily entwined. If your plan blows up in your face, you can expect to be hit with the weight of your mistake every time you hear that song. Take it from one who has so erred many times over, albeit in respect of only one person.

我 * 张国荣 [I * Leslie Cheung ] (I love Leslie as much as I'll ever love a man, dead and queer be he...) One for all Outcasts (which, if read as confined to homos, would be doing the song gross injustice). Anyone who's ever not fit in somewhere, and who felt proud of it, would enjoy belting this one out. 我就是我 是颜色不一样的烟火 I am what I am, fireworks of a different colour

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