anew

I am back. Again. I hope to stay. For my dearly nearly departed. If until now we've been part of what's keeping each other here, perhaps it's time we looked for more ways of sharing our lives. This here may be all that we shall have of each other in the not-too-distant future. Thus, I must reclaim this space.

I've found what I've been looking for. I'm doing my best not to let it go to waste. It's hard to think about anything else but I need to figure some out on my own.

Start with me and go to my mum and then to my mum's mum. Beyond that I have neither face nor name to put to any of the immeasurable line of women who are, each one of them and all, the cause of me. As far as I know (admittedly not far) or dare say (not unreasonably), none of them has had much (if any) earthly possessions to her name - her sole name. Is it, then, a biological imperative for me, who's at the end of the line and who may well end the line, to own more things?

My mum and my dad, each to their family, has gone further away (across the Earth's surface) than anyone else. They brought me to a place with nice weather and serene landscape and great healthcare and relaxing living, and all I want now is to leave. Will they ever understand? Not that their support or otherwise bears upon my decisions; it hasn't for so long. But I don't like to make anyone feel bad, and they are going to feel bad. So at least one of us needs to get past this and it might as well be me.